Surviving and Thriving in the Holiday Season

The time of the year that can be the most joyous can also be the most difficult and grueling. Parties, presents, and family visits can also bring reminders of past losses, unresolved issues, and current conflicts. There are various ways to get through this time. One way is to kick up the octane of your eggnog. However, a safer, less embarrassing, and more sane approach would be to steady yourself, harness some awareness of the challenges you might face, and set a positive intention for how you want to approach these situations. Here are some tips to get you over the river and through the woods:
1) Remember the reason for the season. While it's true that we can move forward until some conflicts are resolved, it doesn't mean that you can't strive to create positive memories and connections with people in your family. Perhaps the "gift" that you can offer is tolerance and patience with those family members that irritate you.
2) Set reasonable expectations for yourself. If you have a family you love to be around, then the more time the better, but this isn't the case for everyone. I had a client in my office last week who said she can usually have a rewarding visit with her family for 2 or 3 days, then the visit deteriorates into old, unhealthy patterns. This year she booked herself for 3 days instead of a week and looks forward to ending on a good note.
3) Take care of your body. This is an example of a simple idea that is difficult to execute. Keep your immune system up- get proper sleep, don't overbook yourself, don't overdo it with sugar and alcohol. Wouldn't it be great to have a jump on your New Year's health resolutions and be ahead of the game instead of playing catch up and detoxing in January?
4) Figure out what the holiday season means to you and do more of that. The holidays come with a fair amount of tradition, much of which is really fun and enjoyable. But I do encounter alot of people who just don't jump for joy over the holidays- too much time stress, financial stress, "forced" togetherness. So balance this with what you need for yourself- for example, taking time to relax, creating a new holiday tradition for yourself or family, or doing for others in a way that resonates with your own personality and values.